The Magic of Letter Writing

More often than not, the mail box offers a rainbow of unhappy mail. Bills, advertisements (as if we don’t see enough), and even scams bombard me weekly without my consent through the little black box at the end of my driveway. I pine for the long lost days of singing Blue’s Clues’ Mail Time as a child, who knew only of birthday cards and grandma’s letters.

When my childhood best friend moved from down the street to Portland, Oregon, I gained a second pen pal. And as life continued to pull people in different directions, my correspondents grew: a high school friend relocated to California, a bestie in Oklahoma for college, my brother stationed in Germany with the Army. The habit has followed me and remains my favorite way to stay connected with distant loved ones. Throughout my years as a letter writer, here are a few ways I have found the practice to enrich my life.

Writing has a way of slowing thoughts down. The pen can only move so fast and the brain expands to match the tempo. I find that sometimes my hand knows my feelings better than I do. I begin sharing a thought onto the page, only to read it back and realize I have written something deeply true that I did not realize before. Though I imagine the same is true of journaling, it helps me to have someone to write to. The act of pouring myself onto the page, sharing my life and feelings with someone who cares, brings a moment of connection within myself that I have yet to find a substitute for.

1 connection to self

While in one sense, writing a letter can feel like monologuing, I find it deeply connective. Letters are often filled with a mix of large feelings and small moments. The blank page provides space for it all. It brings a level of intimacy with the correspondent. Each person is pausing, taking time to reflect and write down the gambit of emotions and events that fill one’s life, and the other is taking time to read it, to sit with it, and ultimately respond to it. It is a unique and intentional way to connect and cherish distant loved ones.

2 connection to others

To walk around with a letter in your pocket is its own kind of joy. A message from a friend that has just arrived, the contents yet known, and a promise of something special in the day to come - that moment when you can finally open it and indulge in the personal message mailed to you. And how to delightful to know that your letters bring the same happiness to someone else.

3 Connection to joy

This is your sign to give letter writing a chance. Think of a distant loved one, and start with something small, one page about how 2026 is going for you so far. End with a few questions for them, and wait. Maybe they will respond in kind, maybe not. But either way, you will have spent a little time in reflection and thinking of someone you love.